We cannot change without ceasing to remain as we are. - Annie Lou Staveley

“I want more money.” “I want my wife/husband to love me more.” “I want to be more confident at work.” “I want to trust myself.”

As a 20+ year psychotherapist and Women’s Empowerment Coach, I hear these things all the time. All of my clients want something they don’t already have, and— hooray! This is where the work begins.

Wanting something is fun, and amazing….and… uncomfortable. It’s amazing because it reminds us that we’re powerful. We can create the change we desire, right? That’s what all the books say, anyway.

It’s uncomfortable because wanting more can leave us dissatisfied and uneasy about where we currently are. All of a sudden, what we have is not enough.

There is much wisdom in being content and grateful with what we have. For sure, having gratitude and seeing the beauty in what is is an art worth practicing. But being grateful doesn’t change the fact that sometimes we just want more. Gratitude and wanting more are not mutually exclusive.

So why does it feel SO HARD sometimes to just create the change? We’ve taken all the courses, seen the therapists, clicked on the links. Where is the god**mn change?

1. Decide what you want to create.

2. Take action. Your desire for change has to be bigger and more powerful than your desire to stay the same.

3. Don’t look back, or fall into old patterns.

4. When you inevitably do, change in yourself what needs to be transformed, because you “cannot change without ceasing to remain as you are.”

In her book, The Plan is Good, Annie Lou Staveley says, “Follow your own north star. The light that comes from it will show you what needs to be transformed.”

Trust that your desires come from your higher self coaxing you, inviting you, flirting with you to move toward the next phase of your evolution.

And there’s nothing else to do but create the path as you go.